This week I met with a young couple preparing for their wedding. As we discussed the ketubah, I explained that the groom accepts the responsibility to care for his wife. Smiling, the groom asked, “And what does the bride commit to give me?” I laughed and replied that the ketubah is entirely about the groom’s obligations—but the truth is that the bride has a unique and equally important mission.
The Torah entrusts every Jewish woman with three mitzvot that form the foundation of the Jewish home: lighting Shabbat candles, keeping a kosher kitchen, and Taharat Hamishpachah (Family Purity). From a very young age, a Jewish girl begins lighting a Shabbat candle, following the Rebbe’s encouragement that every girl from the age of three light one candle each Friday afternoon, adding a second candle after she marries. As she grows older, she becomes involved in keeping a kosher kitchen, and when she establishes her own home, she takes on the beautiful mitzvah of Family Purity. Just as the groom accepts significant responsibilities toward his bride, the bride accepts the spiritual responsibility for the foundations of their Jewish home.
In this week's Parshah, Chukat, we read that immediately after Miriam's passing, the water disappeared. Rashi explains that throughout the forty years in the desert, the Jewish people had water in Miriam's merit. The Rebbe adds a beautiful insight: Miriam's well was not only a source of drinking water—it also served as the mikvah, enabling the Jewish women to observe the mitzvah of Family Purity throughout their years in the wilderness.
Moshe and Aharon are similarly connected to the other two mitzvot. The manna that fell in Moshe's merit provided the nation's food and symbolizes the kosher Jewish kitchen, while Aharon's daily kindling of the Menorah continues to illuminate every Jewish home through the mitzvah of lighting Shabbat candles.
It is fascinating that every Jewish community seems to have one mitzvah for which it is especially known. In Israel, lighting Shabbat candles is remarkably widespread, with many Jews observing this beautiful mitzvah even if they are not otherwise religious. Here in the United States, however, we have a wonderful opportunity to spread even more light by encouraging this special mitzvah.
This week we also celebrate Yud-Beis Tammuz – the Festival of Liberation, commemorating the release of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe from Soviet imprisonment. He taught that true freedom is expressed by strengthening our commitment to Torah and mitzvot and bringing more light and holiness into the world.
May we all take upon ourselves this Shabbat to add another light—whether by lighting Shabbat candles ourselves or by encouraging another Jewish woman or girl to do so. In this merit, may we hasten the coming of the ultimate Redemption.
